A Happy Marriage, well, 7 years of 9 anyway.

Last week DR and I celebrated our 9th wedding anniversary! And what do you know, that husband of mine gave me the very best present! A stainless steel coffee pot, one that will never break! I must say, it's probably the very best present I've ever received. (I'm just a little addicted to my coffee!) 

As we were congratulating one another on our 9 years together DR asked if I'd been happy in our marriage. 

"Not always." I answered truthfully. "I've been happy for 7 of the 9." 

He raised his eyebrows questioningly and I went on to explain. Our first year of marriage wasn't happy, but at the time I was too stupid and inexperienced to realize I was miserable. I was a newlywed, pregnant with twins who just happened to spend six months of that first year separated from my husband. Of course our marriage wasn't tip top! My husband was in Delaware while I was in Indiana pretty much on my own. We barely even knew one another before we were married and that first year didn't provide the opportunities to get to know one another the way newlyweds should. 

A couple of years after our boys were born we lived in southern Indiana and although we were living very near DR's hometown we were miserable with one another. His job was extremely stressful with a lot of personnel conflict and long, long working hours. I was an isolated stay at home mother of twin toddlers far from any of my friends and family. DR and I barely saw one another and when we did we were usually grumpy. 

Luckily we only lived in Southern Indiana for one year (the second unhappy year) before we moved to Illinois for another job position for DR. Illinois offered a pay cut and a demotion in the company. DR's job was less stress, but also less money. Money was pretty tight. We were at least three hours from any of our family. Our house was old and drafty and out in the middle of nowhere. Illinois battered us with snow, snow drifts, ice and wind. I was still a stay at home mom but I was able to venture out into the world a bit. Sounds stressful doesn't it? Yet, for the three years we lived there it was easily some of the happiest years of our married life. 

Later DR mentioned to me that he never understood why I stayed with him after those hard years, especially the first. I didn't have an answer for him other than..."Because that's what you do when you are married." 

I didn't marry DR with the belief that life was always going to be peachy. I realized that everyone has their good days and bad days, though I hadn't anticipated entire bad years. DR isn't the happiest person to be around, neither am I. But we love each other; happy or grumpy, good or bad. I believe that DR and I have to work together and help cover each other's weak spots to make our marriage work. 

I feel extremely blessed to have met DR and married him when I did. I am thankful everyday that DR is the father of my children because he's very good at it. I'm ecstatic that DR loves me despite my oddities and weirdness. We've had 7 really great years of marriage. Yes, two of those years were lousy but honestly, I'm glad we endured them. The bad years have made us stronger and resilient. I think every couple needs some "bad years" because it makes those good years grand! 

Can you relate? 

Clover

Illinois clover, oh how I miss you.

For Miles in Every Direction....Corn

Remember last winter when I was complaining about the emptiness and lack of trees?

Well, things have changed. Now there is nothing but corn, all about 4 1/2 ft. high. I can still see over it but that won't last long. In another month, or less, it will be above my head and we'll be boxed in. It's an eerie feeling to be boxed in by nothing but corn for three months of more until harvest comes in the fall. Of course, my kids can all run naked and no one will ever see!

North

East

South

West

I had better enjoy it while it lasts. I doubt the Kansas landscape will look much like this but, you never know!

My Gypsy Life; The Never Ending Road Trip.

A couple weeks ago I posted about flying out to Kansas for a job interview with DR. Over the last couple weeks, he has finished the second part of interview and talked to many people regarding this position. We both feel confident that this is a good move for his career and for our family. Therefore very soon we will be moving to Kansas.

Now, if you are reading this and part of my family, you are probably shaking your head and saying, "Moving again? Those poor guys!"  If you aren't part of my family you need to be filled in on the gypsy existence and never ending road trip our family has been on the last seven years.




Quick timeline;
Aug. 2003 - DR and I were married and I moved from central Indiana to Kentucky.
March. 2004 - DR's job moved him, temporarily, to Delaware. I was two months pregnant with twins. I move in with my sister in Indianapolis because we don't know how long "temporary" will be and what issues we may have with twins. So for the next few months DR and I flew back and forth to see one another. In June, "temporary" became permanent and I am told by my doctor to no longer fly.
August/Sept. 2004- Yip and Yap were born very healthy and a month later my mom and I drove to Delaware with the babies. DR didn't like the position he was forced into with this company and so....
January 2005 - My parents and teenage brother came to Delaware and helped move us back to northern Indiana....through a blizzard....with 5 month old twins....to a rental house that I'd only seen once.....two years before.  
October 2005 - We moved again to a house we bought two streets away because,you know, we thought we'd be there for a while.
July 2006 - DR is asked to take a position in southern Indiana close to his family....we move again.
October 2007 - The company moved us again to where we are now, central Illinois close to the Indiana state line. This is the longest we have been in one place since DR and I have been married.
Today- We are preparing to move to southwest Kansas.

In seven years we have lived in four different states and in six different houses. And now we are contemplating the biggest move yet to southwest Kansas.....and I have to admit I'm very excited about the idea of moving again. During the years of moving I've had conflicting emotions about the moves; anxiety, eagerness, anger, happiness. There was always a lot of unknown variables to every move but in every community we moved to I always found wonderful people, places and attractions. I've learned a few things in my years as a gypsy that have positively changed my outlook on life.

My Grandma M. asked me once which was my favorite house of those we had lived in. I couldn't pick one. We've owned and rented houses that were two stories and ranch homes. Some had basements, some didn't. We've lived in big towns, small towns, and in the country. There was something I loved and hated about every house.  I've learned to be flexible because no house is perfect. The house itself isn't important; it's the family and home that is built within the walls that counts. This time, I doubt I'll even see the house in person before we move there. I trust DR to find a good house because he knows what we need and what I want. My only request is a house that is self-cleaning!! Is that too much to ask?

A lousy part of moving, of course, is the packing and unpacking. A few of our moves we have been lucky enough to have movers pack everything up for us, but not always. Although it may be in our genetics for DR and I to be packrats, we have learned that we just don't need....stuff.  Therefore I'm constantly cleaning out cabinets, closets and toyboxes of stuff we just don't need because I don't want to pack or unpack it. I've learned that when I'm not attached to stuff I enjoy my day to day life much more. It's kind of hard to explain, but I'm less stressed about losing things or possessions getting stolen. Oh, I still have some stuff that is very important to me like family heirlooms but the possessions I would have been attached to ten years ago don't seem nearly as valuable now.

Personally, the most difficult part of moving has been meeting new people. I have never been what you call a "social butterfly"; I'm more the "wall flower type". Even though it seems we'ved moved a thousand times and I've met many new people, it's always hard to put myself out there for the first time and form new relationships. I'm perfectly happy as the hermit, staying at home and becoming engrossed in my own projects. The thing is, I've very rarely been disappointed when I finally got to know people in a new community. People everywhere are just wonderful and I miss each and every one of my friends we have moved away from. I have become more confident in myself over the years when approaching people but I still have a long way to go.

The best part of moving, by far, is seeing new places and taking advantage of different opportunities each community provides. Chicago, Philadelphia, Baltimore, Gettysburg, Statue of Liberty, West Baden Springs are places we've visited that we might not have if we hadn't move close to each location. I'm excited about all places we could go to from Kansas. The Rockies aren't too far and I'd love for the boys to see history first hand in Dodge City, the Queen of the Cowtowns. Of course everywhere we have lived we've found little gems in each community too. The hedgehog at the library the boys loved to visit. The art guild of which I was a member. The playground and grocery store within walking distance of our house. The little things create memories as well as the big things. 

Why would I be upset about moving again? Before I married DR, I loved to travel! I've had the opportunity to travel across the country; Washington, Arizona, South Carolina, Texas to name a few. We are on this earth for such a short amount of time and this world is oh so big. I want to see as much of it as I can! Rather than be grumpy about moving I'm looking at it as an adventure full of opportunities. Who knows what Kansas will bring? All I know is that I'm ready and we will do great!

For Miles in Every Direction......No Trees

I bet when you read my profile on this blog you came across the words, "plains of Illinois" and scratched your head. Before I moved here two years ago I didn't believe Illinois was part of the plains either...isn't that Kansas and Iowa? Nope...Illinois has plains...and here are the pictures to prove it.

EAST - Those are wind turbines you see over the state border into Indiana, about four miles away. One of these days I'll post about those. Very eerie at night but very cool. The red barn is only two miles away. See that? No trees.


SOUTH - This old barn is about a half a mile away and is fun for the boys and me to explore in the spring before the corn gets to high in the fields to walk through. Just past the pine trees is our nearest neighbor about three quarters a mile away from here. Those pine trees don't count; they're just a windbreak.


NORTH - If you look carefully you will see a barn and a silo on the left in this photo which is about three miles away. That's not a tree on the right just my lilac bush.


WEST - Here is my poor clothesline that gets battered by the spring winds. This barn is only mile away. And once again...no trees.


I grew up in Indiana, just a hop skip and a jump away. Every time I make the three hour trip back home I am always surprised by how much the landscape and topography changes in, what I view, such a short distance. I love trees...I miss trees. I grew up cutting down trees every winter weekend for our wood burning furnace. Despite how much I complained back then I'd volunteer to cut wood today if it meant I could spend time with trees! Trees were a major part of my life...but I never realized it until I didn't have any. Illinois doesn't have trees. Yeah, we have four trees in our yard but it isn't the same as that cozy feeling you get walking in a woods surrounded by trees. Giving hugs, the trees do, keeping you warm by blocking the wind.

Needless to say, but I'll say it anyway, we don't see too many people out here. The mailman and maybe a couple farmers drive down our road during the day and that's about it. Since there are no trees I can usually see them coming miles away. Of course being so far out in the country means I feel comfortable letting my kids go outside to play without me. On the flip side, it also means they feel comfortable running around as naked as a jaybird during the summer with no trees to hide behind! Like they would hide...little exhibitionists! I'm just hoping that's a phase they'll outgrow or I'll have a lot of explaining to do when they're teenagers!

The wind...somedays I wonder if the wind will ever stop. My first spring on the prairie I wondered if I wouldn't lose my mind from the sound, the feel, the constant battling against the wind. Battling to keep my hair out of my face. Battling to keep lawn furniture from blowing away. Battling to keep clothes on the clothesline. Battling the giant snow drifts built by the wind. Battling the constant roar in your ears....oh wait, that's the sound of the kids. That's a different battle for a different post.

This is the plains of Illinois and I'm learning to deal with it and to love it. (Send saplings!!)