Pike's Peak!! (and a very embarrassing moment)

Did you know that Zebulon Pike never reached the top of Pike's Peak? True.  In 1806 he tried only to be caught in a snowstorm on the mountainside. He turned back declaring the mountain unclimbable. Yet, 14 years later Pike's Peak was reached by young Edwin James. So why is Pike's Peak named after Pike rather than James? Well, there was already a James Peak so the mountain was named after the "discoverer" of the peak, Pike. 

We spent last weekend in Colorado Springs, CO with our main goal of reaching Pike's Peak. Thank goodness it's easier to do than 200 years ago! We were able to ride the Cog railway up to the top in about an hour. There was no way I was hiking to the top with a 3 year old and two 8 (almost) year olds! Yip was kind of disappointed that we were riding a train rather than hiking but I promised him if he still wanted to try it in about 10 years or so, then I would be game! Our tour guide later explained that the railway runs 12 months a year and sometimes the drifts at the top of the mountain get packed down like cement which they clear with dynamite. Then Yip was grumpy that we weren't there to see that!! (so was I!) 

There are only three cog railways in the US. Cog railways are more popular in Switzerland where you need to climb many more steep inclines. The cogs on the middle rail are similar to watch gears and they catch to prevent the train sliding back down the mountain. You have to reserve tickets ahead of time and we had planned to catch the 9:20 train. Luckily we were running early that morning (Mountain time helped there) and was able to just catch the first train of the day at 8:10. I didn't even get a chance to pack toys or anything for the ride up to keep Yahoo busy. 

This was the boy's position on most of the ride up, looking right out the window. They didn't want to miss a thing and we even saw three deer.  Yahoo wasn't content to look out the window though, after twenty minutes or so she was Miss Wiggles. It was tough getting her to stay in her seat and be patient without anything to play with. Overall though she did stellar! 

Along the way are plenty of signs to let us know just how high we'd gone. 10,000 feet seems huge compared to the fact I grew up in a place with an elevation just under 800 feet. 

There are reservoirs up the mountain that are just gorgeous! In fact there is a couple that lives on the mountain during the summer who's job is to watch over the reservoirs. What a place to live! Sixty miles from anywhere and their driveway is 17 miles long. I could do that! 

Finally we get above the trees for a gorgeous view. 

Once above timber line the climate is like that of the Arctic tundra. No trees grow here and the Arctic grass, if I remember correctly, only grows an inch or so every 100 years. We could still see wagon tracks made over 100 years ago! 

Snow!! 

Pike's Peak isn't the tallest mountain in Colorado, not even close. What makes it famous is that's pretty much the first tall mountain you reach when you hit the mountains and at the top it is a wonderfully unobstructed 360 degree view! See the horizon above? See the fuzziness just above the horizon? That's Kansas! 

The top of Pike's Peak is COLD!! It was only in the 30's and it was windy and freezing!!! We had on lots of layers but what I totally forgot to pack were hats and mittens. Needless to say we spent a lot of time inside. 

I totally forgot to take pictures of this but at the top of Pike's Peak is a gift shop (of course) that sells the best doughnuts! They are made at the top of the mountain with a special high altitude recipe. In fact the recipe has been tried at lower elevations but doesn't work. They were wonderful! 

Now, for the most embarrassing moment of my life as a mother. 

A little backstory; My kids enjoy watching a PBS series called Inside Nature's Giants. I've never watched all the episodes, just bits and pieces. When they watch these shows I usually sneak away to run on my treadmill. My sister passed on the link so I figured there wasn't anything horrible in the shows. Anything educational is great in my book.  

Anyway, on our way down the mountain we ended up sitting next to this guy here. 

He's from Long Island, New York and he and DR talked a bit about their jobs. It was really interesting to hear DR explain just what a grain elevator is for to someone who had absolutely no agriculture background or experience! After a while, this guy and Yap were talking, I was busy keeping Yahoo in one spot so I wasn't really paying attention to what they were talking about until Mr. Long Island breaks out in hysterical laughter!! 

Come to find out Yap had been quoting nature facts to him from Inside Nature's Giants. 

And Yap said, "Did you know that a sperm whale's penis is very flexible so they can mate in practically any position?" 

Oh. My. Goodness.

I was soooooo utterly embarrassed. 

I guess we need to talk about a few topics that are NOT okay in public! 

Tune in tomorrow for more Colorado pics! 

Sunday Devotions -Introducing The Calvin Hart Series #1

Last October I posted a Sunday devotion titled This Old Bible, a poem I had found in one of my former churches monthly newsletters. To my surprise a couple weeks ago I received an email from the author of that poem, Calvin Hart. He expressed his thanks that I would share his poem on my blog and he wondered if I would be interested in some of his others works as well. 


Of course I told him I would be more than happy to share his poems on my blog. I have always admired people who have the gift of words, a gift which I most definitely do not have! 


So, for the next four Sundays I'm going to share a different poem written by Mr. Hart. I hope you enjoy them as much as I have! 

A Mothers Prayer

Warm as sunshine, Sweet as honey,
Filled with love and care.
Tears of joy, Tears of pain,
Describes a mothers prayer.

A plea for mercy, a cry for help,
A thanks for blessings received.
A prayer for a guiding hand,
For those we have conceived

A prayer of joyous elation,
For the gift of a small precious life.
A prayer of suffering and sorrow,
For the accompanying pain and strife.

A mothers prayer is honest,
With devotion, so strong and sincere,
Borne on the wings of angels,
To our Fathers listening ear.

Tears of joy at a new babies birth,
Tears of joy at watching them grow.
Tears of worry, that never will cease,
When into the world they go.

Flesh of my flesh, blood of my blood,
My life’s greatest joy, and pain.
Who brings the sunshine to my life,
As well as dark clouds of rain

Few other petitions, that rise up to heaven,
Can even come close to compare.
To the strength of Love, and intensity,
That is found in a mothers prayer.

Fear not Dear Mothers, for your prayers are heard,
And are precious in God's Holy sight.
Find comfort in knowing, He stands by your side,
And His wisdom is just, and right.

Be honored Dear Mothers, and continue to pray,
For yours is a special place.
Chosen to be the creators of life,
By God, in His wisdom and Grace.

I won't lie, this poem brought tears to my eyes. Thank you Mr. Hart for sharing your gift with us today. 

Dear Heavenly Father, Thank You for making us mothers! What a blessing and heartache the role can be but a role we gladly bear. Bless our children Lord before ourselves give us strength to love them and raise them in the way of Your Word. Amen. 

Sunday Devotions - Rest vs. Work

The apostles gathered around Jesus and reported to him all they had done and taught. Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.” So they went away by themselves in a boat to a solitary place. Mark 6:30-32

It's 8:30 on a Saturday night and I'm finally sitting down to write my Sunday Devotional. Whew! 

What a day it's been! The boys had a friend sleep over last night so there was an extra rugrat running around this morning. Later in the morning I loaded the car with kids to buy materials for 4-H projects. Then after coming home, fixing lunch and getting Yahoo down for a nap the boys and I worked on their projects.  After Yahoo's nap we had a fine time making animal cheese crackers for a church dinner this evening and then we played with some Clean Mud (check tomorrow's post for the recipe!). I timed it just right that I could run on the treadmill while the kids watched a movie and I'd heat up leftovers for dinner as soon as I was done running. But as soon as I got off the treadmill DR came home from working all day transferring grain to say he had to run to town and, "Why don't we go out to eat at Applebees?" After a quick shower, no makeup, and getting the kids hustled into the car, we were off! Dinner was great, then a fly by the store DR needed to get to, and we were home right at bedtime. Everyone was hustled through the toothbrush, pajama routine and were down for the count. Even DR's sleeping right now. 

I felt like I haven't had a chance to sit all day. But even as I'm sitting here looking around the living room my mind is building a To Do List; pick up toys, work on painting, fold laundry, the list goes on and on. But I have no energy to keep on working tonight. If I did I would be worthless tomorrow. 

I think the apostles probably had some problems with getting enough rest too. Jesus had sent them off to do God's work and they had returned, probably very excited, about what they'd taught and done! Who wants to rest when the power of God is with them to do great things? But Jesus knew that rest was important to his disciples, despite their great excitement and energy. If they didn't rest and recharge the power of God wouldn't be able to work within them in the future. They would just burn out. 

The same is true for all of us. Life is so much go, go, go. Where's the rest? If we don't carve out time for ourselves no one else will. No one can go indefinitely without recharging their batteries, physically and mentally, or burn out is bound to occur. I think for mothers of young kids it is especially hard to find time to rest and pray. We are on the go from sunup to sundown and many times up in the middle of the night too caring for our little ones. 

It's hard to carve out that time but perhaps it doesn't have to be a huge chunk of time all at once. Can you try five minutes of sitting down doing nothing? Ten minutes? There are days I feel lucky to get three minutes of time to just sit before I'm called on by one kid or another. But the intention is there. 

Dear God, Thank You for reminding me today that rest is so very important. Rest for my body and my mind. Resting is the only way I can prepare myself to do Your work. Help me find rest today Lord that I may do Your work tomorrow. Amen. 

Yahoo

Yahoo is my youngest daughter, sister to twin boys and our last child. Yes, last. Don't hold your breath. I'm done having kids. Yahoo helped make that choice. 

I always say how thankful I am she isn't a twin. I don't think I could handle two of her. It isn't because she's a girl either. Oh, she has her princess days where she stomps around the house wearing my heels and ravaging my makeup and being all girlie. But most days she's donning her brother's pirate costume and is dashing out of the house conquering dragons. And it isn't because she's high maintenance either because she is often content playing by herself without me around. 

No, the things that make Yahoo a handful is her independence, stubbornness and her energy level. Her latest response to anything I say that she doesn't want to do is a very loud, "NO THANK YOU!!!" 

Well, at least she's polite. 

I don't ever remember my boys being so independent at this age either. 

"I do it!!", I hear her say everyday. Just last week she donned her backpack, put on her shoes and announced she was going to school (which is right next door) and she walked out of the house. There was a bit of a screaming match on the front lawn when I caught up with her. 

When Yahoo wakes up in the morning she hits the floor running. There isn't any slow waking up morning routine. No, she hits the fridge, gets her milk and then hits the toys and books. No morning cuddles, kisses or hugs. She's too busy. 

And is she ever busy thinking. 

This week, as we drive in the car, she keeps telling me to make our car fly. "And just how am I supposed to do that?", I ask. 

"Push a' button." she answers wisely. 

Push a button. If that were the answer to everything I'd push a button and make Yahoo stay this age for a while longer. Because although she's a handful, and the reason I still take naps, she's already growing up way too fast  to suit me. 

Signs I need..

I love funny signs. The kind that are just dust collectors

but make you smile when you clean em?

This is a favorite my grandma gave me when the boys were little.

That's a pretty true sentiment.

This week it seemed all of my Facebook friends were sharing signs so I thought I'd pass them on to you. We all need a good chuckle or a smile now and then.

My kids must be ecstatic.

You Betcha!

*smile*

...words to live by...

Bring Back the Menstrual Hut!

(WARNING! MEN! If the title of this post hasn't already scared you off then turn back now. I can't hold myself responsible for any hormonal rant I may post here. Thank you.) 

Once a month I feel really, really sorry for my husband and kids. I feel really sorry for them because for five-ish days out of every month they have to put up with me and my raging hormones. 


Period week sucks.  I feel like I've been run over by a garbage truck and that I've gained twenty pounds, although it's only like five. I can't sleep. I'm grumpy. I'm edgy. And this happens every month. 


You know what I'm talking about! 


Every month I know the PMS monster is coming and my husband knows it's coming, yet I'm expected to act like a normal human being (HA) and care for my family. But every month it's the same, I'm bitchy and exhausted but still have a full load of responsibilities on my calendar. 


Our ancestors had it right......I want a menstrual hut!! 


You know, the menstrual hut...the place where women were banished to for the duration of the monthly visitor. In many primitive/past cultures it was believed that for a menstruating woman was a curse and if she touched anything (weapons, children, etc.) it could bring bad luck. So women were banished to a menstrual hut to do nothing but sit inside for a week and sew...or quill...or gossip...whatever...they sure weren't working hard in those huts. 


Can you imagine a whole week to sit and rest when your body is exhausted? No taking care of kids. No cooking. No cleaning. No running errands. A whole five days in one room with no one asking you to take care of anything. Ahhh...That. Sounds. Like. Heaven. 


You know, I'm thinking the whole "menstruation as a curse" story was started by a woman. Seriously, they knew way back when that they needed a week of rest once a month. Some woman probably asked for a week's vacation from motherhood and when her husband shot that idea down she knew she'd have to make him think a monthly menstrual break was HIS idea. I can see her now sabotaging his soup so he'd get sick after he ate it or fixing his loincloth so it ripped when he bent over. Then after all these 'mishaps' she could blame it on the curse of her period and then her husband would be happy to ship her off for a week once a month. Smart woman. 


My husband, unfortunately, isn't that gullible. I don't think he'll believe that the all his clothes turned pink in the wash just because I did laundry during that one special week of the month. That idea is tempting though. 


The idea of a menstrual hut is awfully inviting. But considering I don't see the winds of change in our culture blowing towards the relief of menstruating women everywhere, I'll have to settle for an overindulgence in Starbucks and chocolate once a month. 


*sigh*


Dear Santa, For Christmas this year......

Sunday Devotions- Don't Make Me Come Up There!!!

I recently downloaded Don't Make Me Come Up There!: Quiet Moments for Busy Moms onto my Kindle. I'm a sucker for free e-books and wasn't disappointed by this one! The author Kristen Welch has me cracking up and crying and praying all in one sitting. For today's Sunday Devotional I'm going to share a short chapter from her book. Enjoy Moms!



Chapter 2 - They Will Let Anyone Be a Mom These Days

I was leisurely scrolling through the latest posts of the blogs I read everyday. I was unbathed and pajama-clad. (Actually, I had lost my pj bottoms somewhere along the way of rushing my older kids out the door, so I was half naked.) My priorities were in order; I was reading other people's business before I took care of my own.

My one year old sat in my lap while I worked on my laptop at the kitchen counter. My baby dug through the kitchen drawer as I intently read. She started squirming, so I sat her on the floor with a piece of plastic. At least that's what I thought it was, until she started screaming. I whipped around and realized that the said plastic was SUPER GLUE, which was now dripping and full of teeth marks. I scooped her up and rant to the kitchen sink.

These words began flashing in my head; YOU ARE NOT MATURE ENOUGH TO BE A MOTHER. FIND AN ADULT IMMEDIATELY.

My daughter's hands were covered in Super Glue and her lips were glued closed. Let me just pause and let that sink in; Baby. Lips. Glued together for eternity. Jesus help me.

I'm crying. She's crying. I'm splashing water on us both, praying for help, and begging for forgiveness. It did dawn on me in a surreal way how perfectly still my child became. she knew it was bad. And I think she was hoping for another adult to arrive.

The warm water and a little pressure helped part her crusty lips. THANK GOD. She didn't ingest the glue, and that seemed to be very good news.

I nearly passed out when I heard the key in the front door. A host of angels ushered my dear hubby into the kitchen in search of something he'd forgotten. He saw the super glue, our crusty hands, and his baby's lips and took over. I Googled 'baby lips and super glue' which I'm sure helped child protective services home in on my whereabouts.

According to reliable sources, acetone is the enemy to Super Glue. It's the kryptonite to the super mega adhesive. We dipped cotton into nail polish remover and scrubbed. Our one year old perfected her dirty look, and my husband didn't even ask how it happened.

"I've got to get to work," my husband said as he grabbed his jacket.

"What? You can't leave me. I can't be trusted. It's not even 8:30 a.m. and I nearly wounded your baby," I said as I grabbed his pant leg and held on for dear life. He smiled at me. And left.

Have you ever felt unqualified to be a mom? I made a mistake that could have caused severe injury to my child and I couldn't get past the guilt. I was horrified at my negligence and berated myself until I finally had a good cry in the tub. I reminded myself that I wasn't a bad mom, just human. But God reminded me that I wasn't alone. He equips us to handle eh tough mom stuff, the things in the future we can't even imagine. He won't give us more than we can handle.

Don't be too hard on yourself. It isn't an accident that you're  a mom. God will enable you.

1 Samuel 25:28 - Please forgive your servant's offense, for the LORD will certainly make a lasting dynasty for my master, because he fights the LORD'S battles. Let no wrongdoing be found in you as long as you live.

God, Thank You for Your protection. Please watch over those I love. Guard them with your angels. Keep my spouse and my children safe from harm. Amen.

Sunday Devotions - Happy Mother's Day!

When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them.  But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. Luke 2:17-19

There are lots of moments with my kids that I treasure. I still have the first painting my boys ever made. I treasure their unique interests and the moments I get to share those interests with them. I cherish every good night kiss and hug I can get because I know someday they'll think they are 'too old' to kiss me goodnight. The older my kids get the more I am learning to cherish the little things with them; playing Ring Around the Rosie and sitting on the sidewalk watching cars go by or simply talking to them. They are growing up so fast. Try as I might, I'll never be able to remember every moment of their lives.

I treasure their futures too. Someday will have careers, hobbies, families of their own. I don't exactly know what their futures hold but I pray everyday that my kids might become the people God needs them to be and that the experiences they have, good or bad, might be of good service to their lives.

Yip talks all the time. Enough to drive me nuts most days but I know that God has a purpose for his talking so all I can do is wait...and hope that his talking will be fruitful. Jesus' mother Mary treasured her Son too and pondered his future. She knew Jesus was God's own Son but did this young mother truly understand all that role entailed? Did she realize the sacrifice she would give 33 years later of returning her earthly child to His Heavenly Father? I imagine she knew from the very beginning that life for her would never be the same. And she pondered. 

All mothers ponder. I wonder, if we knew how much time we would spend worrying and thinking on children, if we mothers would change our minds about getting pregnant in the first place! But I'm glad Mary and my own mother decided to stick it out and raise their children through the worry and stress of our futures.

Happy Mother's Day Mom!!

Dear God, Thank You for Mothers!! What a wonderful gift of sacrifice they bestow upon their own children. Thank You so for Mommy Mary (as we call her) and the childhood she gave to Jesus. Amen.

Wanna Swap?

I've decided to stop feeding my kids.....it just costs too much. And I'm not letting them outside anymore because their clothes get worn out too quickly and I don't want to spend money on them. I'll just make them stay in the house naked so I won't have to buy as much laundry detergent.

Okay, I really won't do any of that...but the thought has crossed my mind. Kids are expensive! Geez, if I knew how much they'd be eating at the age of six I'd never have decided to have twins!

Oh, right.....God didn't give me a choice there...ha!

Anyway, who doesn't want to give their family what they need, and some of what they want, without breaking the bank in the process? I found a new website, I've been cruising quite often for the last month Swap.com that has saved me a bit of money and helped clean my house at the same time.

The premise of the website is really simple. You create an account and build a list of books, movies and/or video games that you have but no longer want and what condition they are in. Then you make a second list of things you want; books, movies and/or games. Then the website matches you with other users who want what you have and have what you want. Then you swap!

Alas, nothing is free including swap.com but the cost is minimal and you are billed once a month. The website charges fifty cents to a dollar per swap depending on the item. Then all you need to do is ship it to the provided address. The swap.com website also allows you to print a postage label from home that includes tracking from, usually around $3. I haven't found anything comparable in price or quality on Amazon for that price.

The downside is that they don't trade VHS tapes and I sure have a ton of those laying around that I wouldn't mind getting rid of! And of course just because you want something doesn't mean there is someone out there who wants what you have so your want list may continue to be just that, a want list, for some time to come.

But in the last month I've done five trades;  for me Wicked and Johnny Cash's Unchained, and for the kids How to Eat Fried Worms and Pirates of the Caribbean; Dead Man's Chest and for my husband When Genius Failed all of which have been in very good condition. All in all I've not even spent $20 and gotten rid of stuff that was just collecting dust on my shelves. Especially since we are big readers in our house I'd say that is a pretty darn good deal!

Not yet convinced? Well, swap.com also hosts swap4schools where you can donate something you have to a school who needs it. We all know how school budget keep getting smaller and smaller every year and this is a great way to help out a teacher. Are you a teacher? Jump on and tell us what you want. If I've got it I'd be happy to help you out!

I'm a cheapskate frugal shopper and it's great to find ways to save money. Do you have any money saving tips or websites to share? Who doesn't want to save some money these days?

What I've Learned

Ah...spring! Flowers, sun, flying kits and.....assessment tests.


Yes, the time of year dreaded by teachers, parents and students alike. The time of year when months worth of learning are assessed through a few measly hours on a standardized test. I'm against standardized tests for a number of reasons....but we won't go there.


I decided that since students across the country were reflecting upon their learning of the past months through testing that I would reflect upon some of life's lessons as well. 


Random things I've learned......


Sometimes I have to allow my kids' feelings to get hurt in order for them to learn life lessons.


Strawberry milk from the gas station will stain a carpet.....permanently.


I NEVER want to be responsible for running a daycare out of my house.


Girls may be easier to potty train...but they are harder to reason with.


My husband will never learn to pick up his work boots from the middle of the living room floor. (I hope I'm wrong about this one!)

I've learned it's better to be flexible in life because I'll never expect the unexpected.


It doesn't matter how old I get, there will be days I will still need my mommy to comfort me.


There just aren't enough hours in the day......or dollars in the bank.


Someone is praying for me today though I may never know who it is or what they are praying for....but I sure am thankful they are praying for me.

When I pray for someone, whether they are aware of it or not, it does me just as much good as them.



So have you assessed yourself lately? What are some of the life lessons you have learned?

I'm Anti Basketball

Ha! Bet that title made some of my family turn their heads. Me? Against basketball?

"Didn't you grow up in Indiana, the land of the Hoosiers?" (Did you know the little school that inspired the movie Hoosiers still sells copies of that original game? Pretty cool!)  

"Why Heather didn't you used to play and coach basketball? How can you be against it?"

Yes I did. I started playing basketball when I was 9 years old. I loved it! I played through middle school and high school. Larry Bird and Michael Jordan were my heroes! Even though I wasn't an outstanding player I walked onto my college basketball team and was part of the team for 2 years. I didn't hardly play of course in those college days but it was a great experience for me because I learned a great deal about coaching.  I got to play during practice, and boy did I have to work hard, and then I got to learn during the games. Defenses and offenses and analyzing situations while sitting on the bench was something I came to enjoy. I quit my college team when games and practices interfered with my class schedule.

After I landed my first teaching job right out of college I was asked to help out the seventh grade girl's coach, Jay. He had a daughter on the team and I ended up coaching with them for two years. Jay became like a second dad to me. I'd go to his house after games and on the weekends and eat dinner with his family. Then we'd talk basketball and cows. He was a farmer and raised Angus cattle and was determined to teach me about beef. I was raised around numerous dairy farms; dairy and beef cattle aren't the same! Beef and basketball had about the same amount of importance to Jay.

I loved basketball! I went to lots of games. I was vocal! I hooped and hollered with the best of em'! I practiced with my 7th grade girls. And I practiced hard, in fact I broke my kneecap during one practice after a freak fall. That made me grumpy but I kept playing, well, after my knee healed anyway.

I can't say everything about coaching basketball was great. The worst part can be summed up in one word. Mothers.

I couldn't believe how crazy some of these mothers could get over a 7th grade girls basketball game. One mother, no wait, two mothers followed me into the locker room  (at different times) after a game to rail on me, in front of my girls, about their daughter's lack of playing time. One of those girls had been out for 6 weeks with a stress fracture and I didn't play her in her first game back. She hadn't practiced for 6 weeks! What was the mother expecting? If I had played her daughter and she'd been hurt then she'd have blamed me for her injury.

Another mother was so loud that she would interrupt my and Jay's train of thought during the game. Everyone in the gym could hear this woman holler! Her outbursts weren't always the most positive uplifting shouts of encouragement either. (She's earned a lifetime ban from the town's baseball fields!) More than once I could see the embarrassment she caused her daughter. Poor kid!

Since coaching all those years ago, I've kind of backed out of the basketball scene. It isn't easy dragging kids to games so that's been kind of my excuse, even though perhaps not the real reason that I've stopped attending basketball games. I hadn't been to a game in years until my sister in law invited me to watch her high school senior sister play while we were home for Christmas this year back in Indiana. Grandma watched my kids and I went to the game with my brother and sister in law. It was great! I loved it! I know my personality and I know that if I allowed myself to I could get really emotionally involved in a game. If I started going to ball games again I could be the loudest one in the stands! I could see myself coaching from the stands too.

March Madness has gotten me thinking about basketball recently. Our high school boys' team here in town is heading to the state tournament and the girls' team has a good shot at the state title as well. Everyone in my little Kansas town is big into following these teams. I haven't even been to a game.

Why not you ask? Why haven't I attended a basketball game in so long since I seem to enjoy the game so much?

Well, I think I did get a bit burnt out on basketball while I was coaching and after years of playing, and I don't want to turn into one of those 'crazy mothers'. If my kids play basketball (or any sport) I will support them all the way! I'll be at games and I'll do the fundraising and feeding the team and whatever they need. What they won't need is me as their coach. I don't want to get so into the game that I end up thinking I know more than the coach someday. After all, I'm won't be the one that spends hours practicing with my kids and learning every one's strengths and weaknesses. I won't be the one going to coaching clinics in the off season. Why should I think I'd ever know better than a coach on how to coach?

I don't want to be one of those crazy parents of an athlete. I'm sure the time will come when I'll have plenty of basketball games to keep me busy. But, for now, I'm staying away from basketball to keep my craziness at bay.

Where's the Passion Ladies????

No, this post is not about passion between DR and I. Have no fear, this is a G rated post.

I have a Facebook friend who wrote the following note and it really got me thinking.


I am feeling....uninspired. I am not a fantastic cook, I am not crafty, or creative, I don't garden, I don't have a "paying" job, and besides my family, I don't have a passion. I know all of these fantastic women/mothers who do so much and have a real interest in so many things, and I don't DO anything. I often cook from boxes. I print off pictures (taken with a point-and-shoot) and just slap them into a photo album (that I bought). I rarely volunteer because I've not found anything that is worth the time away from my boys. I don’t' bring home a pay check. For right now I am useful at least, I care for my family. What happens in 5 years when my two boys don't require so much of my time? What's left of me? How much of me is still inside? If you know me at all, you know I love my husband and my children beyond measure. I feel guilty (aren't those words that every mother has spoken?) that for all my love for them, I don't feel like I am living to my fullest potential. I want more in my life; does that make me a horrible wife/mother? Does it?


I haven't been able to stop thinking about my friend's note. She's a warm, kind, funny and intelligent woman. She's one of the people I most admire and am was rather surprised that she felt this way. Yet, I think at some point most mothers have some of these feelings. If we are working moms we feel guilty not being at home with our kids. If we stay at home all day raising our children then we feel guilty for not living up to our potential or that college degree we spent so much money on. Or we feel guilty because we want to do something with our lives that doesn't involve our kids or husband.


There are a only a handful of women that I know that are truly passionate about being stay at home moms. They are fabulous women! And what's wrong with that? What's wrong about really LOVING to be home with your family and caring for them? Nothing at all! I think it's one of the most selfless, loving roles a person can commit to.


I can sympathize with my friend and her passionless existence though. Even though my interests include running, crafting, cooking, gardening and photography, I don't consider myself passionate about most of them.  I am passionate about drawing and painting, though I find it difficult to find the time to engross myself in those activities.


Especially when kids are small, what mother can find the energy to be passionate about anything? Sometimes raising children is merely an act of surviving from one day to the next. I think more so for stay at home moms, women's identities are wrapped up in caring for their family and it's hard to find a personal identity. But kids won't take so much energy and attention forever. They eventually stop wearing diapers and can dress themselves and before we know it they'll be driving away to college....and doing their own laundry (just foreshadowing for you my dear children!)


So when our days of mothering are 'over', how do mothers get their identity back? How do we stop living for our children and begin living for ourselves again? Where or how do we find that one thing we are passionate about? How do mothers find inspired lives apart from their children?


What advice do you have that I can pass on to my friend?

Does Motherhood make you stupid?

Does Motherhood make you stupid? I've never given this question a thought until I was reading a blog the other day by one of my former students.

See, back in 1998 I was fresh out of college and landed a great job as a middle school art teacher in a small rural Indiana community. I worked there for five wonderful years before I married DR and began moving all over the country. It's weird to think that all my students are now in their twenties!! Anyway, this blog, is written by one of my students who is working on her doctorate in psychology. She blows me away. She's just such an intelligent young woman with an incredible ability of tying in her love of art and photography with her study of psychology.

While reading her post the other day I was forced to ask myself....."What have I been doing in the world of learning? Am I still smart? What does it mean to be smart anyway?"

I reflected on my life a bit and was able to summarize my current work in various areas of study.

Math - "Do I have enough time to drive to WalMart and back before naptime?"


Arts - "Where's that Pooh Sing-a-Long video?"


History - "Time to dig out the immunization records again."


Economics - "Bills, bills, bills..."


Language Arts - "Good Night Moon!"


Psychology - "What were those kids thinking? All three of them in the shower at the same time....and Yahoo was dressed!!!"


Current Events - "CNN Headlines on my Google Reader Feed; who has time to sit and watch the news?"

It can be depressing when I think how I've been out of the work force or a "thinking community" for the last six years. I'm not doing lesson plans or meeting with other teachers or attending educational conferences anymore. I'm not staying up on the latest trends/legislation/issues in education. Could I even go back and do it again? I've let my teaching license lapse...sorry, hard to keep up when you've lived in 5 different states!! If I do want to go back to teaching again I'd have to return to college for a while. How stupid have I become?

I mean, as a stay at home mom my whole world and manner of thinking has changed. Teething, potty training,naps and the basics of feeding and clothing my family is what my world revolves around now. A doctorate in psychology like my former student? It seems like another world and I feel stupid just thinking about all the 'smart' people out there who get to 'think' more than I do. 

But maybe stay at home mommies aren't dumbing down. Maybe we are just getting a new kind of smarts. Purse Gurl asked me the other day about naps. How did I know when to put my kids down for a nap? How did I know when they didn't need a nap anymore? I had to think about it. How did I know? I guess it's something I've picked up through other moms, books and my kids cues.

What other smarts have I acquired through motherhood? Time management for one. I can get more packed into a day now than I ever could when I was in my twenties. I'm  much more patient than I used to be and a better listener. I suppose I'm more flexible than I used to be too, more go with the flow. But are my 'mommy skills' the same as 'smarts'? Does being a stay at home mom make me dumber?

What do you think moms? Are you smarter, stupider or about the same since you became a mom? Does it matter? Should it matter?

Hmmm, I think I've made myself more confused writing this post than I was before.

Where are my friends? Hello? Anyone out there??

I don't have any friends, really, I don't. Other than my sisters, who are all 900 miles away and I have to talk to on Facebook, I don't have any close female friends.

I used to think it was because, until now, we always lived in the country and it was too  far/bothersome to go out and meet women. I used to think it was because we moved about every year or so. Then I blamed my lack of female friends on Mandy, another stay at home mom I knew. Mandy was so irritating to me I went out of my way not to meet other moms lest they annoy me as much as her or, heaven forbid, I'd end up in Mandy's social circle and have to spend more time with her.

Honestly though the lack of female friends has never bothered me much. I've always been kind of a loner and am fairly content being alone. I never dwelled on it much until my sister and I had a chat about it. My sister called me up one day and asked how I was doing.

"Kind of bored, actually." I answered. With Yip and Yap in school, I find myself with much less to keep me busy during the day. Yahoo's a handful but still, I can get bored.

"It's hard to make friends isn't it? " my sister asked. "Ann is having the same problem." Her friend Ann is military wife with a son in elementary and another in preschool. She is finding ways to keep busy when her kids are in school but mostly she's doing things by herself.

My sister has lived in the same town for eight years and has no friends there. She works in a different town but all her coworkers are either single or have grown children so socializing with them is difficult.

"We live in a fractured society. There isn't a social structure for stay at home moms or working moms!" my sister declared.

A fractured society. I'd never thought of it that way before but my sister makes a valid point. there really isn't many places for moms to meet other women outside thir children's lives and activities. How many moms make friends at their kids' sporting events? I've done the MOPS thing before and though it has a great message and purpose it wasn't for me. I don't want to go somewhere and talk and think and dwell on my kids. I do that at home. If I'm going to meet other women I want those female friendships to center on our shared interests because after all we have an identity apart from motherhood....or at least we should.

For my sister and I church isn't a place to find female friends either. Both she and I attend churches with small congregations mostly of retirees. Although I love the older women in the churches I've attended, I really don't have much in common with them. 

I remember growing up my mom was a member of a home ec club. Do they even have those anymore? During my grandparents eneration there were bridge clubs and sewing circles. What kind of social opportunities to women of our generation have? Facebook and Twitter? Even though I'm online and have connected with many interesting and intriguing women, I don't feel that social media can replace an old fashioned girlfriend.

Are we a fractured society? Or maybe we are merely an isolated one. How did that happen? How is it that so many stay at home moms and working moms are lonely for female companionship? Don't get me wrong, I love my husband and DR is my best friend but sometimes you just need a woman to talk to!

Why is it so difficult for moms to build other female relationships? Or am I in the minority here? Where can we go? How can women build friendly relationships with other women especially if they are women, like myself and military wives, who often move ?