Am I the Only Mom Who.....

Am I the ONLY mom who...

tells the toddler to stop eating dog food?
has to lift the toilet seat to make sure the little hobbits flush?
can't remember the last year I mopped my floors?
can't remember the last day I took a shower?
finds half full tippy cups under the couch with mysterious white chunks inside?
sometimes has an urge to sedate my kids?
potty trains kids by letting them run outside naked?
bribes farmers with cookies so my kids can ride in their combine?
really didn't enjoy pregnancy...at all!
prefers teenagers and toddlers over infants?
can down an entire 2 litre bottle of Diet Pepsi...and then feels compelled to hide the fact from my husband?
can't adequately function without large doses of caffeine?
feels like I've spent the summer raising houseflies?
feels like this summer is already gone by too fast?
wishes I was deaf, or that my kids were mute?

Really, am I the only one?