LARD or How to get rid of a splinter painlessly.

   

I kicked a cactus the other day and got a splinter. (Go ahead and laugh, I know you want to.) Who kicks a cactus?? Yep...that would be me. It was in the way.

So with a small cactus splinter stuck deep in my toe I dug out the old reliable tweezers and sewing needle and started to dig. No luck, I couldn't get it out, it was bedtime but my toe was still hurting. Time to go to tried and true reliable splinter removal system.

LARD.



Yes, Lard.

By the way have you ever done a Google Image search for the word LARD? There are some pretty interesting (and disturbing) images at the end of that search.

(Go ahead and open that other tab and search it...you know you want to.)


  Lard? The secret to family happiness?


  Lard? The secret to love and youth?


  I just think this one is cute! 


Really?? I don't know that LARD is the answer to happiness, beauty or family but I DO KNOW that LARD WILL GET RID OF SPLINTERS. Really, they do. REALLY!!!!

I don't know where this remedy came from but when I was a kid my mom would put a mixture of lard and flour and a band-aid on our splinters overnight and by morning the splinter would be gone. Not butter, not shortening but LARD.

I've used this on all three of my kids and my own cactus splintered infested foot and it works. IT WORKS! I don't know how it works but it does. I'm guessing this is an old farmer's wife's remedy passed down through the generations. Cause, you know, farmers' wives usually had a good supply of LARD sitting around.

The only drawback to using LARD as for splinter removal? You have to buy a lot of it! Lard doesn't come in small packages. I have had two pounds of LARD in my freezer for six months....just in case of splinters. And thank goodness because have you ever seen the expression on a kid's face when you come at them with a sharp needle with the intention of digging around a splinter? Yeah, I don't know many who sit still quietly for that kind of doctorin'.

Splinters. We all get em. Now guy buy yourself some LARD cuz who knows, maybe you'll find pure bliss in the grocery LARD aisle!