(WARNING! MEN! If the title of this post hasn't already scared you off then turn back now. I can't hold myself responsible for any hormonal rant I may post here. Thank you.)
Once a month I feel really, really sorry for my husband and kids. I feel really sorry for them because for five-ish days out of every month they have to put up with me and my raging hormones.
Period week sucks. I feel like I've been run over by a garbage truck and that I've gained twenty pounds, although it's only like five. I can't sleep. I'm grumpy. I'm edgy. And this happens every month.
You know what I'm talking about!
Every month I know the PMS monster is coming and my husband knows it's coming, yet I'm expected to act like a normal human being (HA) and care for my family. But every month it's the same, I'm bitchy and exhausted but still have a full load of responsibilities on my calendar.
Our ancestors had it right......I want a menstrual hut!!
You know, the menstrual hut...the place where women were banished to for the duration of the monthly visitor. In many primitive/past cultures it was believed that for a menstruating woman was a curse and if she touched anything (weapons, children, etc.) it could bring bad luck. So women were banished to a menstrual hut to do nothing but sit inside for a week and sew...or quill...or gossip...whatever...they sure weren't working hard in those huts.
Can you imagine a whole week to sit and rest when your body is exhausted? No taking care of kids. No cooking. No cleaning. No running errands. A whole five days in one room with no one asking you to take care of anything. Ahhh...That. Sounds. Like. Heaven.
You know, I'm thinking the whole "menstruation as a curse" story was started by a woman. Seriously, they knew way back when that they needed a week of rest once a month. Some woman probably asked for a week's vacation from motherhood and when her husband shot that idea down she knew she'd have to make him think a monthly menstrual break was HIS idea. I can see her now sabotaging his soup so he'd get sick after he ate it or fixing his loincloth so it ripped when he bent over. Then after all these 'mishaps' she could blame it on the curse of her period and then her husband would be happy to ship her off for a week once a month. Smart woman.
My husband, unfortunately, isn't that gullible. I don't think he'll believe that the all his clothes turned pink in the wash just because I did laundry during that one special week of the month. That idea is tempting though.
The idea of a menstrual hut is awfully inviting. But considering I don't see the winds of change in our culture blowing towards the relief of menstruating women everywhere, I'll have to settle for an overindulgence in Starbucks and chocolate once a month.
Dear Santa, For Christmas this year......