I never said "Goodbye." and that's okay.

Although I love the holiday season of Thanksgiving and Christmas, this year has been rather bittersweet for me. Last year, a couple weeks before Thanksgiving, my Grandma L passed away and Grandpa L passed away right before Christmas 8 years ago.

Every Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve were spent with these grandparents. Not only do I miss those warm family get togethers but it's difficult to be reminded my grandparents left this world around the holidays.


When Grandpa's health was failing, 8 years ago, and he was in the hospital, I rushed to see him one last time. I found Grandpa in pain having a difficult time talking and breathing. There wasn't much I could do to ease his pain other than hold his hand and tell him I loved him. It hurt to see this strong man I had grown up next door to losing a battle with his failing body.

I was closer to Grandma than to Grandpa. I grew up decorating cakes, gardening, canning and butchering chickens with Grandma. After Grandpa died I wrote to Grandma quite a bit. Being that I lived three hours away I didn't get the chance to see her often. When her eyesight failed and her hands hurt too much she would still send her responses to my letters even when I assured her she didn't need to write back.

When Grandma went into the hospital for the last time I didn't go see her. DR asked repeatedly if i wanted to go home to see Grandma. "No." I always answered. At this point Grandma had given up. She was tired of this world and she was ready to go home. She wasn't awake or responsive and she wouldn't have known I was there anyway. She was surrounded by family and friends and I was comforted that she wasn't alone.

It may seem cold but I had nothing to say to Grandma even if I had gone. We had said all we ever needed to in conversations and letters. For years she lived in a nursing home that she hated but was the only place that could see to her medical care. I knew when my Grandma passed she would finally be at peace.

Maybe it's cowardice on my part but I also didn't go see Grandma in the hospital because I didn't want my last memory of her being one of her in a hospital bed. My grandmother was a strong, independent, brave and hard working woman. Those are the traits I wanted to remember her by. I didn't say "goodbye" to Grandma and that's okay.

All four of my grandparents were extremely supportive and loving of their family but Grandpa L and Grandma L hold a special place in my heart because I lived right next door to them during my entire childhood. I saw them practically everyday. They were more like a second set of parents than grandparents. They were steadfast and strong, loving and caring. They welcomed a house full of grandkids and noise.

Even though the holidays bear the reminder of the loss of two grandparents, I'm comforted with the memories of those same grandparents as they celebrated the holidays with me and my cousins in years past.

Marker Monday - Paper Angels and Santas

Last Sunday the boys came home from church with these simple little angels. How cute and simple! Yahoo and I decided to whip one up for ourselves.

Fold paper into three equal (almost) sections.

Fill each section with a paper Santa (or elf, reindeer, snowman...whatever!)

I think more glue found it's way onto Yahoo's face than on the paper...

Tape one end of the paper to other so it wil stand up. I placed a pillar candle inside (unlit of course) so Santa won't get knocked over as easily.

I could do this with every holiday! Cupids, leprachauns, Easter Bunnies...possibilities are endless.

Merry Christmas!

Sunday Devotions - The Kingdom is like Yeast.

He told them still another parable; "The kingdom of Heaven is like yeast that a woman took and mixed into about sixty pounds of flour until it was worked all through the dough." Matthew 13:33

I came across this Bible passage the other day and honestly had a difficult time understanding it. Heaven is small? We have to wait a long time for Heaven? I looked up some commentary on it and found the following explanation very helpful.

Jesus insists that the glorious anticipated kingdom of God is also present in a hidden way in his ministry and that of his followers. These parables most clearly declare that God's kingdom has arrived in some sense in Jesus' ministry, in a hidden and anticipatory way. Far from baptizing the wicked in fire and overthrowing the nations at his first coming, Jesus came as a meek servant, wandering around Galilee with a group of obscure disciples and healing some sick people.

So in some sense God's kingdom is already here...in all of us.

In a world characterized by political turmoil and filled with wandering teachers nad magicians, Jesus' intial arrival as a politically inconspicuous servant had rendered his mission as opaque as his parables, except to people of faith.

God's kingdom is here but difficult to grasp except those with faith.

Despite the magnitude of the task before us, we dare not despise the "smallness" of our own works, for God's entire program long ago came hidden in a small package.

Yeast comes in small packages too. I shared a bread recipe with you Friday that only uses 1/4 teaspoon of yeast but has to rise for 12 to 18 hours!! I was skeptical when I first found that recipe but it is by far the most satisfying bread I've ever made. But with a rising time of 18 hours I have to plan ahead when I choose to make this bread; it's a long term committment.

The kingdom of Heaven is a long term committment too. It's something we have to be patient for but give our life to everyday. In the great scheme of things we are all 'small' like yeast. We don't have to make grandiose gestures to God. Our small works, over time, can amount to great things even if they are hidden from others eyes.

Dear God, Thank You for reminding us that we aren't insignificant in Your eyes. Even our smallest gestures are seen by You. Thank You for the promise of Your Kingdom to come and help us be patient in waiting for it. Amen.

Sunny and Warm Winter Destination?? Kansas!!

It's been warm here in Kansas lately....unbelievably warm.

So warm in fact, I am constantly checking the validity of my calendar.

It's December? Are you sure?

This pics were taken just a couple days ago when the high was 63 degrees! Wow! I can't hardly believe Kansas has been so nice to me lately. Of course all the locals are telling me how odd this weather is.

"This is not normal!" they all declare.

I'm just hoping the weather won't turn on me and hand me a blizzard when we drive home to Indiana next week for Christmas!

I've driven through Christmas blizzards before...not fun! (Ohio, 2004...blech!)

Even though it was really nice sending the kids outside to play without a coat, in the middle of December, I have to admit I really miss snow and cold weather. It just doesn't seem like the Christmas season at all without a bit of a chill in the air.

Yeah, winter is usually cold and windy and hard to drive in but I know how much my kids and I love playing in the snow. Maybe if we are lucky we'll get enough snow for a snowball before winter is over.

But I shouldn't complain one way or another should I? The kids are having fun and my furnace isn't running.

Indiana has been covered in snow with temps in the teens for the last couple weeks. Anyone want to trade homes for a while? Kansas warmth for snow?

Foody Friday - Easiest Ever Yeast Bread

I found this bread recipe on Country Girls' blog a few weeks ago. I tell ya, she always has the best and easiest recipes.

Now I've been making bread for a long time now. Quick breads, bread machine breads, old fashioned knead it and rise breads. Even though the breads always get eaten in our house I can't say that anyone, especially my husband, was ever hog wild over any of my homemade breads. Except Yap....he loves when we use banana bread for french toast. But that's about it.

But this bread? This big round loaf was almost entirely devoured by DR the very first day. He loves it! He cuts off a big chunk in the morning for breakfast. In his words it's like a French bread crust, thin and crispy but soft and airy on the inside.

I love it because there is no kneading....none! I barely have to do anything to make this bread....just a little time managment.


Here's the original recipe; check it out because I'm not including all the details here.

In a bowl mix 3 cups flour, 1 1/4 t. salt, 1/4 t. yeast and 1 5/8 c. water. Cover with Saran Wrap and let rise in a warm place for 12-18 hours. (I usually mix this up between noon and 2pm)

After rising (I do this as soon as I get up in the morning, about 6 am) lightly flour a work surface, turn the dough two or three times and cover with Saran Wrap for 15 minutes.

Then add more flour to work surface, enough to prevent dough from sticking, work the dough into a ball. Generously coat towel (not terrycloth) with cornmeal, flour, or bran and place dough seam side down. Cover with another towel and allow to rise for 2 hours.

Heat oven to 450 degrees. (This is about 8:30 am.) Place a 6-8 qt. heavy covered pot (I use a cast iron pot and a glass dish) in oven as it heats. When pot is hot remove carefully from oven and place dough, seam side up, in pot. Cover and bake for 30 minutes. Remove lid and bake for 15-30 minutes until bread is golden brown. (My breads never take more than 3o minutes total baking time.)

Carefully cut hot bread, slather with butter, don't burn your tongue and enjoy!!

I may never make another type of bread again. Why mess with perfection?

Photo Thursday - Using a Flash Outside

The day after Thanksgiving was bright and fairly warm here in Kansas so the kids, Mountain Man and I took advantage of it and played at the park. The only problem I have with the Kansas sky is sometimes the light can be too bright. A lot of times the only chance I have to takes pics of my kids is during the afternoon when the bright sun is overhead creating strong shadows on their faces.


As I was taking photos most were turning out like this one. Yip has dark shadows down the front of his shirt and shadows on his face cast by his hat. I wasn't going for a pic of my kid where I couldn't see his face!


I moved a bit closer and turned on the flash....much better!

I'm all for cowboy hats but they can create some harsh shadows. In this shot of Mountain Man I used a flash but I was too far away and there was still more of a shadow than I would have liked.

A flash outside just won't work to get rid of shadows unless you are close to your subject.

Get a bit closer....*flash*....ah, there you are Mountain Man! Nice to see that handsome mug of yours!

My men and their hats make funky shadows but Yap had to go and play in a shadow! Work with me kid!!

Again, move closer, *flash*...voila, my handsome boy!

Finally! I've become victorious over the bright sky and hat shadows! Yay!

What God Wants for Christmas - Interactive Nativity

A friend of ours back in Illinois recently sent the boys a Nativity set. Now this isn't just a Nativity to set up for decoration. This is an interactive set that includes a colorful pop up stable, seven gift boxes, an illustrated story booklet, six hand painted nativity characters and a heartwarming surprise in box 7.

When we opened the box the boys were eager to open up all those boxes. I finally convinced them to sit through the story book with me as we slowly opened each box separately. Overall, it took about 20 - 30 minutes to set up our new Nativity.

Box Number 1 contained the angel Gabriel and the booklet has wonderful poems to illustrate each characters role in the Nativity as well as referencing Bible verses. When we opened Gabriel we talked about how the birth of Christ had been foretold many years before by Isaiah. We discussed the patience of God's people; even though God promises us things doesn't mean those promises will be fulfilled soon.

The figures include Gabriel, Mary, Joseph, Baby Jesus, a shepherd and a wise man. For each box opened and character placed in the stable, we read the poem and Bible verse that described their role. The end of every poem reminded us there is something God wants for Christmas but "be patient, it's in box 7."

Inside box number 7 is a mirror to reflect the thing that God wants most for Christmas....YOU!

The boys were very quiet when we opened this box and we had a short discussion, they're only 6 after all, about how much God loves us and wants to spend eternity with us. In order to do so we only need to believe in him.

This is such a wonderful way to present the Nativity to children! The last box, the gift God wants, reels in children's curiosity so they hang on every word. They can't wait to get to number 7! I would recommend this to anyone who wants to teach their child the deeper meaning of Christ's birth. Thanks Sue!

You can find it here, here, or here.

Merry Christmas!