3 Years.

     3 Years.....

     I can hardly believe that 3 years have passed since I've last written in this blog. I never meant for 3 years to pass by but such is life I suppose.

In case you don't remember 3 years ago my family and I moved from a tiny town in Southwest Kansas to just slightly south of Kansas City. It's definitely been a culture shock in terms of geography, population and culture.  Culture shock is definitely a term that I can identify with. I feel like my life has been completely turned upside down within the last 3 years.

The first year (2015) in this area was a year of learning of course. Learning about Kansas City and living in a town of 'city folk' rather than 'farm folk'. Learning about a school that was 3 times the size we came from. Learning our place in this new community. it was tough and uncomfortable but at the end of that year I was feeling comfortable and confident in our new home.

The second year was tougher. I had decided to train for a marathon and had been running hard and long for a good 4 months.  For 20 years running has been a large part of how I identified myself as a human being. But in the spring of 2016 my body felt....off. I didn't feel good, I was getting tired easily and my back was sore. I stopped running. This off feeling went on for months until September when my entire body hurt enough to send me to the ER. Xrays and MRI's showed nothing so I started physical therapy for back pain. So I rested and exercised and limped around.

Into 2017 I was still doing physical therapy but I still had pain. Finally I had a fellow church member who also happened to be a chiropractor who offered his help. Come to find out I had torn cartilage in my hip but was presenting through back pain. So just a few days before Halloween I had hip surgery. A month in a brace and six weeks in crutches and months more of physical therapy.

Now here I am in the middle of 2018 and a week after a 2nd hip surgery to repair the same damage on the other side. At the moment I'm facing 3 more weeks in a brace, 5 more weeks on crutches and who knows what else is in store in my future.

I've come to the realization finally that I'll never run again. And that my friends is incredibly disheartening. It was my stress relief. It was 'my time'. I've gone through incredible highs and depressing lows in the last two years. I've gone through times of great hope and times when I was certain I'd never walk again. I've gone days in bed doing nothing but crying and days when I was certain I was so close to being 'back to normal'.

Life for the last two years has been my marathon. The hardest obstacle I've ever had to overcome. Today I'm at a point where I have hope. I have hope that I'll walk without pain. I have hope that I'll be able to lie an active lifestyle again.

H.O.P.E. - Hang On. Pain Ends.