Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Tampons and 9 Year Old Boys.

Have you seen this commercial for Hello Flo floating around the Internet? Take a 3 minutes to watch it (I'll wait), it's super cute and a really neat concept....I wish I had thought of it. 

Wasn't that funny? DR actually told me about it a couple days ago and pulled it up one evening for me to watch. This particular evening was like any other evening. Dinner was done, dishes washed and the kids were just hanging out around the house until bedtime. I was in the kitchen, on the laptop, trying to watch this three minute video without interruption. (right) Yip more than once came wanted to know what I was watching.

"It's a girl thing that you don't need to know about!! Beat it!", I snapped. Which he would respond to by immediately sneaking around the corner to watch the video behind my back. I kept pausing the video and shooing him off because really, explaining a period to a 9 year old boy just wasn't on my to do list for the day. 

As we were getting the boys ready for bed that night Yip just wouldn't let it go. "Mom, what was that video you were watching?" 

Of course that got Yap immediately interested, "What video? I want to see it!" *SIGH* The whole time the boys were badgering me DR was in the background telling them to drop it, shut up, just leave it alone and vainly trying to convince them that they didn't want to know anything about the video I was watching. 

But they just. Wouldn't. Drop it!! 

Fine!!! I caved! They wanted it, so I was going to GIVE IT TO THEM! 
May God have mercy on their souls! 

I broke out our handy dandy sex ed book....which DOESN'T explain periods...

....and found a uterus....

Now we've talked about sperm and eggs and where babies grow and they've looked through this book until it's ragged, not that they've read much so they know the black and white of the birds and the bees. Periods and sex haven't come into the discussion yet. 

Before I even started talking DR told them this, "Boys, Mom is going to tell you something you won't want to hear." 

"Yeah we do!!" heads nodding emphatically. 

"So...", DR continued without missing a beat, "tell her to stop talking when you've heard enough." Boys heads turn to me and the book enthusiastically waiting to hear the "big secret". 

They asked for it. 

"Women are born with eggs, here." I referenced above picture. "Once a month one egg travels down these tubes to here." Once again pointing at the illustrated uterus as I gauged my boys facing trying to decide how to proceed. Simple and straightforward was my best guess since they still looked interested. 

"Blood lines the walls here that will feed and keep the baby safe as it grows." I continued, still no reaction from my boys..they'd heard all this before, pretty black and white biology. 

"But, if a mother and father decide not to have a baby then the egg, which is very tiny, passes out of the uterus.....along with all that blood." I glanced warily at my boys faces and noticed they both wore slightly alarmed expressions. "That happens once a month to older girls and women." 

I was going out on a limb with my next sentence but, hey, they asked for it. "I have a period every month too." 

"STOP!!!" they both declared in unison. Well, I guess that was the tipping point.They didn't even remember to ask what the video was about. I hope I haven't emotionally scarred them too much! 

About that time DR was behind us giggling, pointing and saying, "I told you so!!" That was my first experience trying to explain what a period was to a boy, and I only got partway finished. Did you notice how DR didn't jump it at all to help? That's probably because he's just as confused by "women things" as the boys are. 

Okay, so all you mothers of boys out there....have you ever had to explain this to your sons? Or did someone else take care of it? Any horror/humorous stories to share? Any tips for me when/if I have to finish their education of periods, pads and tampons? 

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